Many people write to me and ask me how they can use the law of attraction to manifest their ideal love partner. So many have been hurt in past relationships and they don’t want to recreate the same hurt all over again with a new partner. Until I successfully manifested MY dream partner, I had no idea that there was one fundamental step in the manifesting process that I was missing for years.
The fundamental step in harnessing the law of attraction is called many things, but for today, I’m calling it Intention-Setting. To manifest your dream partner, you first need to write down (yes, you must write it down) a laundry list (or “wish list”) of qualities and characteristics that would best describe your ideal partner. Now here’s the catch: you must write down things that are CLEAR and SPECIFIC.
It is OK to include traits like honesty and integrity. But also include things that are more specific. For example, when I was manifesting my dream partner, James, my laundry list looked like this:
– 5 feet 8 inches to 5 feet 10 inches tall (ideal for being my pairs figure skating partner)
– athletic and fun
– able to skate as well as I did
– we look fantastic on the ice together
– affectionate – likes lots of hugging and kissing
– likes to give massages
– likes to cook (since I didn’t like to cook)
– handy around the house (likes to chop wood)
– enjoys taking care of me
– enjoys personal growth
– likes to go to personal growth workshops
– does yoga with me
– likes kids and would make a great dad
– has to move here since I don’t want to move
See how specific I was in many ways? It took me months to get more and more specific as I learned from each relationship I was involved with in the interim. And guess what? I got everything I asked for!
Here’s the other thing you need to know. When you are creating your laundry list and you can’t decide what you want, it may help you to remember what didn’t work in past relationships and then ask for the opposite. For example, if your past lover was a poor listener, ask for a patient listener in your ideal mate. I don’t want you to focus on what you don’t want because the law of attraction states that what you focus on grows. However, acknowledging what you don’t want can sometimes be a stepping stone to being clear about what you do want.
The mistake many people make when wishing for their ideal partner is being too vague. The reason people are vague is often because they do not believe than can actually manifest what they TRULY want. That happened to me when I was first trying to manifest my dream partner. I was both wanting a figure skating partner and a love partner, but didn’t believe I could have both in one person. Why? Because I knew just about every man in figure skating who could skate pairs and none of them were appropriate. But one night, I got an intuitive “hit” that I needed to ask for what I REALLY wanted not what I thought I could get.
Thus, I changed my list to the one you see above. Not long afterward, James and I met. It has been a divine union ever since!
You CAN have everything you ask for. You must know yourself well in order to be clear about what you want. Then guess what? Any qualities or traits that your dream partner has (honesty, integrity, courage, independence etc.) must also be resonating within you. Why? Because the law of attraction states that “like attracts like”, so you can’t attract someone with qualities you don’t have.
Just to reiterate: the first step in harnessing the law of attraction is making your “wish list” in as much specific detail as possible. Don’t worry about HOW you are going to manifest your dream partner. The “hows” are in the domain of The Universe. By the way, The Universe found my ideal partner who wasn’t even a figure skater, but an aggressive inline skater! James is now am amazing pairs figure skater and we won a National Gold Medal in our very first competition together! See how creative The Universe can be?
Make your list and refine it as you learn more about yourself. One of my colleagues, Sandi Sain, who is a sex and relationship therapist, went on 500 dates before she finalized her “wish list”! You can listen to the interview with Sandi Sain on my Blog Talk Radio show…
When you’ve accomplished the first step in manifesting your dream partner, be on alert! Because you will soon be receiving messages from The Universe that your dream partner is well on her/his way!